Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Top 7 Filthy Baseball Terms

A while ago I put out my list of the Top 7 Filthy Bowling Terms. After giving it some thought, it turns out that baseball may be even dirtier than bowling! So, I figured I should probably list the seven filthiest baseball terms as well. As always, there are some honorable mentions (or in this case, dishonorable mentions). These include the term "up the middle", "choke up", and the various terms for bats (stick, lumber) and fast throws from the outfield (hose, rope). Now, the actual Top 7:

7. Foul Ball - This is a term so dirty and filthy we've used it for the name of our softball team for the past 3 years. In baseball terms it means a ball that is hit outside of the fair lines. In dirty terminology it refers to a malodorous scent proceeding from the scrotilia. A corollary to this term would be "foul pole".

6. Hidden Ball Trick - With a runner on first, the first baseman will call time out and have a conference with the pitcher at which point the pitcher secretly hands him the ball. After returning to his position, the first baseman proceeds to tag out the clueless runner as he leads off first base. I'll leave it to your imagination to figure out the dirty version because I haven't quite worked the details out myself.

5. Get Good Wood - In baseball this means to make good, solid contact with the ball when hitting. The dirty use of the word is pretty self explanatory. If you can't figure it out for yourself, the good folks at Pfizer can help you out: http://www.viagra.com

4. Bush League - The "bush leagues" are any of the small, independent leagues that used to be popular throughout the country where has-been and never-will-be players would find themselves stuck. The term could also refer to a competition in which the goal is a certain part of the female anatomy.

3. Find A Hole - Hitting it "where they ain't", or finding a spot in field where the defense can't get the ball. In baseball, there are a vast number of holes you can find. In the business of love there are only 3 or 4 possibilities.

2. Chin Music - Throwing a high, hard fastball at the hitter's head in order to "send a message". Without getting into all the sordid details, the filthy use of the term is synonymous with the phrase "take one off the chin".

And finally . . .

1. Double Header - In baseball, two back-to-back games in one day. In adult talk, it means . . . oh come one! You can figure this one out for yourself.

There you have it! The Top 7 Filthy Baseball Terms. If you feel I've missed something, feel free to post it in the comments below. Keep your eyes open in the future for other Filthy Sports Lists and anything else I fee like commenting on.

No comments: