Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Top 7 Filthy Baseball Terms

A while ago I put out my list of the Top 7 Filthy Bowling Terms. After giving it some thought, it turns out that baseball may be even dirtier than bowling! So, I figured I should probably list the seven filthiest baseball terms as well. As always, there are some honorable mentions (or in this case, dishonorable mentions). These include the term "up the middle", "choke up", and the various terms for bats (stick, lumber) and fast throws from the outfield (hose, rope). Now, the actual Top 7:

7. Foul Ball - This is a term so dirty and filthy we've used it for the name of our softball team for the past 3 years. In baseball terms it means a ball that is hit outside of the fair lines. In dirty terminology it refers to a malodorous scent proceeding from the scrotilia. A corollary to this term would be "foul pole".

6. Hidden Ball Trick - With a runner on first, the first baseman will call time out and have a conference with the pitcher at which point the pitcher secretly hands him the ball. After returning to his position, the first baseman proceeds to tag out the clueless runner as he leads off first base. I'll leave it to your imagination to figure out the dirty version because I haven't quite worked the details out myself.

5. Get Good Wood - In baseball this means to make good, solid contact with the ball when hitting. The dirty use of the word is pretty self explanatory. If you can't figure it out for yourself, the good folks at Pfizer can help you out: http://www.viagra.com

4. Bush League - The "bush leagues" are any of the small, independent leagues that used to be popular throughout the country where has-been and never-will-be players would find themselves stuck. The term could also refer to a competition in which the goal is a certain part of the female anatomy.

3. Find A Hole - Hitting it "where they ain't", or finding a spot in field where the defense can't get the ball. In baseball, there are a vast number of holes you can find. In the business of love there are only 3 or 4 possibilities.

2. Chin Music - Throwing a high, hard fastball at the hitter's head in order to "send a message". Without getting into all the sordid details, the filthy use of the term is synonymous with the phrase "take one off the chin".

And finally . . .

1. Double Header - In baseball, two back-to-back games in one day. In adult talk, it means . . . oh come one! You can figure this one out for yourself.

There you have it! The Top 7 Filthy Baseball Terms. If you feel I've missed something, feel free to post it in the comments below. Keep your eyes open in the future for other Filthy Sports Lists and anything else I fee like commenting on.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Heath Care

So Congress today passed the "Historic Health Care Bill". So, you ask, "What does Aaron think of this load of crap?" Wait! Maybe you should rephrase that question. "What does Aaron think of the health care bill getting passed?" That's better.

Pretty much anyone who knows me knows where I line up politically. I'm very conservative; and when I say "very conservative" I mean Reagan is Lenin and W is . . . I don't know . . . some sort of semi-retarded communist dictator. I think the Federal Government's job is to protect us if we get attacked and ensure my rights aren't violated. That's it. It's not the government's job to make sure I can get my lung cancer operated on after I've smoked for 30 years. If I slip down a cliff and break my neck while trying to get to a waterfall, that's not your responsibility and you shouldn't have to pay for it. I'm tired of people thinking the Federal Government is a momma cow and we're the calves in there trying to find a teet. Where do you think that milk comes from in the first place? The "30 million Americans without health insurance that are now covered" is a huge steaming pile. A third of that group are illegal immigrants who shouldn't be covered to begin with. Another huge chunk are people in their 20s and 30s who could afford insurance but have decided they don't want to buy it because they don't think they'll need it. Three quarters of the citizens in the country were against this particular version of health care reform. How in the world did this get passed? It's just like how the "pretty, popular girl" wins the Prom Queen every year even though most of the kids in the school secretly hate her. The Congressmen are voting yes because they'd rather impress the Prom Queen than vote for the girl who deserves to win.

So now what happens? The state of Idaho has already passed a bill/statement/resolution/whatever saying they will sue the Federal Government if they pass the bill. Something like 37 other states are working on similar bills. The tenth amendment to the constitution (remember that thing Congressmen, Senators, and President?) basically states that any task that isn't specifically given to the Feds in the Constitution is off limits. The Feds have no right in schools, the arts, and certainly not in health care. With the passage of this bill, the Federal Government is requiring citizens to spend their money on something they may or may not want. This is unconstitutional no matter how badly you want health care for all. Idaho and other states are perfectly within their legal rights to sue on the matter and they will. Ultimately this whole thing is going to end up in the hands of the Supreme Court where we will have another States' Rights Issue to resolve. The Supreme Court has generally sided with the states in these issues but I'm having my doubts. In the words of the ancient philosopher Obi Wan Kenobi, "I've got a bad feeling about this." This decision will be about more than just health care. It will be about how far the Feds are willing to go to push their agenda on the states and how far the Court is going to allow them to go. No matter which way they decide, this is an important moment in America's history. We will either confirm that we are indeed a Republic of individual states and the most free country in history, or we will confirm that the original ideas of our founding fathers are no longer important. Let's hope for the first one.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Adios No Name Show - Top 7 Episodes

So last night marked the final episode of the No Name Show. For a variety of reasons I decided to cease doing my weekly internet radio show. I will attempt to do some of the material from the show here on my blog. The easiest of these is the Top 7 Lists. So in honor of the great fun I've had over the past 20 months doing the show, I now present the Top 7 Episodes of the No Name Show:

7. Best SNL Bits of All Time - This episode ended up being me talking to my cousins Bryce and Connor about SNL bits and other tom foolery.

6. Underrated Movies - I talked about some of the best movies that no one talks about. If you're a movie lover, check out this episode.

5. Clay's Boston Marathon - I interviewed an actual person for this show: my buddy Clay. We talked about him running his first Boston Marathon (extremely successfully by the way).

4. No Name Show Premier - Oh what could've been. The show was originally supposed to be myself and two buddies from work talking about whatever we felt like. That format lasted one whole week. Listen to this show always makes me realize how entertaining this show could have been had they stuck it out.

3. America Rocks - We didn't end up talking about how great America was that much but this was the first time The Ed called into the show. It was great to finally meet the man.

2. Peter Long from Elmo's Place - The most controversial episode of the No Name Show featured a guy named Peter Long from Elmo's Place, a halfway house for recently released sex offenders. This one actually got me in trouble with the in laws for a little bit.

1. Should Skyscrapers Be Banned - My favorite episode featured Dr. Johathan Ceran from SOAR who discussed the evils of skyscrapers. If you only listen to one episode of the show, listen to this one.

There ya have it. My list of my 7 favorite episodes of the No Name Show. Give them a listen and feel free to let me know what you think.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

RIP - Other Aaron

I'm not a big fan of death in general. It's not fun. It's not a happy time, even when people try to make it so. It's very rarely a comfortable transition for the party directly involved.

A friend of mine passed away yesterday. He wasn't a real close friend, but he was a guy I've known for about 10 years and played volleyball with more times than I can count. To be honest I was always a little jealous of him. You'd watch him in the sand and it looked like he never tried. He wasn't that much taller than me, he couldn't jump higher than me (in fact the last few times I saw him play he couldn't jump at all), but he dominated in a way I could only dream of. On top of that, he was one of the nicest, friendliest guys I've ever known. Literally, everyone loved him. He was 37 years old, had a wife and kids; way too young to be gone.

I spent the last couple hours going through pictures on my computer for a picture of him to stick up here. Sadly, I couldn't find one. I did find one which is sort of fitting. For my friend, this game is over. I imagine he's at a place now where the weather is always perfect, the sand is soft, and his aching knees no longer hold him down. Somewhere in heaven is a beach with perfect sand, and it's being put to good use today. See you when I get there Aaron.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Another New One

Mongo and I headed out after church this morning to check out a waterfall I had seen through the trees a week ago on Rocky Creek, near Baker Lake. After a short scramble through a little clear cut area we started climbing down the steep hill towards the falls. After reaching the bottom of the precarious climb, we (and by "we" I mean me carrying the dog) crossed over to the other side of the creek and scrambled atop a large boulder with a perfect view of the falls and the gorgeous green pool at the base. The falls are around 25' tall. I suspect the creek probably drops over the same rock formation as nearby Lower Sulphur Creek Falls, Sandy Falls, and possibly Laplash Falls. All four falls are about the same height and located at roughly the same elevations:

We climbed out of the canyon on the opposite side and eventually ran into an old logging road that ran parallel to the creek. I followed the road downstream for a little ways. I thought I heard one more waterfall but at this point I was high above the creek and not in the mood for another long, steep climb down into the canyon (perhaps at a future date). After getting back to the car, I checked out the creek a little further upstream and ran into a really cool old dam. The drop off the dam is about 50' tall and 80' wide. It was really neat. Next on the agenda will probably be Bald Mountain Falls next Saturday. I'll probably throw some other waterfall into the mix to make it a full day. Should be fun.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Survivor, Waterfalls, and Other Nonsense

I've been a little lazy the last week or two so I'll try to cram a bunch of stuff into one post. First up . . . Survivor.

This week's episode (3/4/2010) was truly great. The villians won another reward challenge and then won immunity in a great match up pitting Boston Rob against Tom, two of the true Survivor greats. The villians won again and it looked like Colby was going to be out. But wait! Tom had found the hidden immunity idol earlier in the show and everyone knew it. The main group of six decided they would have to split their votes 3-3 for Tom and Colby. That way Tom would be forced to use the idol, Colby would be gone, all would be good. Except for one thing. J.T. made a great move by agreeing to vote with Tom and Colby to get rid of Cirie. Tom played the idol so his 3 votes didn't count, Colby got 2 votes, and Cirie got 3 and was gone. Brilliant move by J.T. as it got rid of the idol, got rid of one of the best strategic players in the history of the game, and got rid of the most useless member of the tribes in challenges. If you're not watching this season of Survivor you're not a fan of TV.

Item 2 - Waterfalls. Justin Ray and I went out last weekend to look for a potential waterfall on Anderson Creek along the east side of Baker Lake. We found several small waterfalls, including one that dropped out of a massive, very narrow gorge (left). There were no views into the gorge so we turned around. I went back up a few days later to try and get a view from above. I got right on top of where the waterfall most likely sits, but still no views. The only options now are to attempt to come in from the side and hope there's a view that doesn't involve falling 200' to my death, or learn how to repel. It's diappointing because this looks like it could be most impressive.

The family and I took a nice drive today to enjoy the beautiful weather. We visited two of my favorite falls that the wife had never been to before. I even took the opportunity to climb into the little cave behind Lazy Bear Falls for the first time. It was pretty cool. This waterfall really reminds me of Ponytail Falls in the Columbia River Gorge of Oregon. We also visited Cedar Hollow Falls on Happy Creek, near the Ross Dam Trail. Micah found the experience to be quite spiritual (see below). On the way back we saw that the spillway was open on the Diablo Dam, allowing a ton of water to go pouring onto the rocks below the dam. It was an unbelievably impressive sight and the first time I've ever seen the dam opened up. Tomorrow after church I'm off to check out at least one small waterfall on Rocky Creek near Baker Lake. I'll explore further downstream and hopefully find a few more falls too. I have a feeling this one could be similar to nearby Bear Creek, with several nice waterfalls in a short stretch of creek. Stay tuned!